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Shockingly, Marie eventually got fed up of people idolizing her father’s man-stalk. Leaving Paris, she took it with her to Buenos Aires and finally California. After her death in the ’70s, an author and Rasputin expert acquired Marie’s possessions, including her father’s penis in a velvet bag. In 1994, the dong was sold at a London auction for a paltry $640. We can’t make up our minds whether that was the best or the worst deal in history.
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The Many Strange Adventures of Rasputin’s Dong
The mystical “Mad Monk” Grigori Rasputin liked boning. Lots and lots of boning. Honestly, who doesn’t? But he wasn’t left to his own manual devices. No, strangely, women seemed to respond to his insane hobo musk, and he pretty well screwed his way through the final days of the Russian czars. Eventually, somebody woke up on the wrong side of Rasputin’s sticky sheets, and the monk was killed six ways to Sunday, four on Monday, three on Wednesday, and one just for fun because it’s almost the weekend. However, that wasn’t the end of Rasputin’s adventures: Even in death, a part of him was determined to live on. His disembodied elephantine dong:
via AFP/iol.co.za
Astoundingly, that’s the first excuse we’ve had to type that particular sentence.
The strange story of Rasputin’s penis goes like this: After his death, the royal family’s maid is said to have cut off Rasputin’s glorious schlong and, for reasons best left unspoken, handed it to Marie, Rasputin’s 17-year-old daughter. While most girls might not appreciate receiving their dead father’s hacked-off dick, Russia grows a heartier breed up there. Marie happily wrapped the wiener in newspaper and hauled it to Paris, where it was kept on ice and worshiped by Rasputin’s fans and followers.
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