Loading ...Now don’t go fretting about it, and while the competition are some pretty gals, I know you can shoot better than most of em. So go ahead and send in that application and resume for Deputy Sherriff. Let’s see, under the rules of the Fair Hiring Act, Anti Discrimination Act , Equal Employment Opportunity Act, The Federal Labor Act, Minority Hiring Act, and about another ten thousand pages of Acts, ( all which are more pages than the Book of Acts in the Bible ), I am sure I can find a few loopholes so you are a shoe in for the job opening. (wink, nudge, smile)
Aint nothing “going on at the pond” except Macroman and me, who were innocent lil old country boys turned green and warty and tossed into some pond, are simply trying to make lemons into neon lit, high rise lily pad condo, Radio City Dancers, Sin City of the South, lemonade drinking, gambling, 24 hour a day, party town. That’s all. And we don’t need you and ole Twitchy nose starting up any ice storms, earthquakes, forest fires, hail and brimstone, nor floods of epic portions to go ruin our quiet little peaceful community. Fact is, you will have to swear under oath not to do so along with the normal ‘Serve and Protect’ stuff if you are going to take the job. Now don’t go fretting about all this, there is one perk you are sure to like that comes with the job of Deputy Sheriff, you are allowed to shoot any bankster on site, no questions asked. Floridagold is setting up a Gator Body Disposal Service at one end of the swamp. Part of our Keep it Green Environmental program don’t ya know. All part of our ‘No harm, No Foul’ , If there aint a body no crime policy.
We are trying to talk Wanka into coming out of retirement to be our Justice of the Peace and have assured him we have no problem with conflict of interest being he runs a Lamp Post R Us ‘Correctional Facility’ on the side.
So you see, we are just running a quiet, peaceful, lil old pond town. Say, what do you think about a pair of Daisy Duke short shorts and tank top for a uniform ?
Best, Sheriff FarmFrog