We seem to have a lot of immigrants coming in, so we really have to create millions of new fake jobs. What the hell? Fake money, fake boobs, fake lips, fake wood plastic picket fences everywhere. But the plastic straws and bags? Sorry, but they have to go. If the minimum was $3/hr I would open a business immediately and hire 10 people. It would only be $30/hr for the whole crew.
Sarcasm of course.