Jeff Foxworthy
“You Might Be A Muslim”
If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor,
You might be a Muslim
If you own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes,
You might be a Muslim
If you have more wives than teeth,
You might be a Muslim
If you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean,
You might be a Muslim
If you think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide,
You might be a Muslim
If you can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against,
You might be a Muslim
If you consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing,
You might be a Muslim
If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs,
You might be a Muslim
If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four,
You might be a Muslim
If your cousin is president of the United States,
You might be a Muslim
If you find this offensive or racist and don’t forward it,
You might be a Muslim